Have Satellite Truck, Will Travel

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Location: Sitting inside a TV truck, Somewhere, more then likely in the Southeastern region, United States

I am a grouchy, bald headed old fart filled with opinions and not the least bit shy about sharing them.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

You might have high blood pressure if…

You might have high blood pressure if...

- The machine says "Flaming Death on a Stick" when the test is finished.

- The inflatable cuff around your arm pops like a cheap balloon.

- The machine displays a message directing you to the "Industrial Model" on your right.

- The entire Eastern Seaboard blacks out during the test.

- The test stops and the machine tells you to "sit quietly, remain calm, paramedics are on the way."

- The fire sprinklers over your head go off during the test.

- The machine asks if your living will is up to date.

- At the conclusion of the test a spectral cloaked and hooded figure bearing a large scythe appears in front of you. It is staring at you, slowly shaking its head.


One way to get high blood pressure is to go mountain climbing over molehills.
- Earl Wilson


Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Creator of Rocky and Bullwinkle Passes

In 1959, Rocket J. Squirrel and Bullwinkle J. Moose made their network television premier on ABC. For the next seven years, "Moose and Squirrel" entertained millions, thwarting Boris and Natasha, delivering Fractured Fairytales and traveling through history via the WABAK (WAY-back) with Peabody and Sherman.

As a youngster much of the humor went over my head. 15 years later as an adult I rediscovered the series and never laughed so hard. The show was written for adults too. To this day Rocky and Bullwinkle still brings my channel surfing to a halt.

Rocky, Bullwinkle and Dudley originally came from the imagination of Alex Anderson. Anderson died last Friday at the age of 90. He left a legacy of hundreds of millions who all got a laugh from his work. There is almost no one of my generation that doesn't know who Dudley Do-right is.

Thanks Alex. You and Jay Ward brought smiles to more then you can ever know. It was a little taste of home in bad place far, far away.


"Hey Rocky, wanna see me pull a rabbit out of my hat?"
- Bullwinkle J. Moose

Thursday, October 14, 2010

More EPA wisdom for the good of all, of course.

Lenoir, TN - In yet another stroke of stunning consequences-be-damned thinking the EPA, acting under a directive from the idiots leading Congress, are going to increase the percentage of ethanol allowed in gasoline blends. The old line was 10%, the new line is 15%.

In a move that triggered immediate, furious controversy, the government said Wednesday that gasoline now may contain up to 15% ethanol — grain alcohol, usually from corn in the U.S. — instead of just 10%.

The Environmental Protection Agency ruling approves E15 only for 2007 model and newer cars and trucks. But EPA hinted it soon will include vehicles back to 2001. "Thorough testing has now shown that E15 does not harm" newer vehicles, EPA chief Lisa Jackson said.
USA Today: Ethanol content of gasoline can be 15%, up from 10% now

The EPA says that this blend is currently only legal in 2007 or newer cars. But how are they going to guarantee that fuel stays out of older cars in states that require ethanol blended gasoline? I think we are about out of nozzle sizes. We could go to the round peg in the square hole concept, but what about all those 2007 and newer vehicles already on the road? It will be even worse if they extend the standard retroactively to the 2001 models. (Wonder if we can get that "won't hurt newer cars" in writing…)

This new glitch in logical thinking will finish what "Cash For Clunkers" started. Older vehicles designed before the Gasahol craze with rubber based parts in the fuel system are already suffering some damage from the alcohol in the fuel. The 50% increase in ethanol will rapidly accelerate that damage. Those cars will either have to undergo costly repairs or they will scrapped.

It does not take a social engineer, in depth surveys or the US census to tell us who drives the vast majority of older vehicles on the road today. Those are people that can least afford to replace them. A brief and highly unscientific survey among the servers here at the Cracker Barrel in Lenoir, TN reveals that 7 out of 11 drive vehicles from the 1990s. Only one drives a car that is newer then 2007.

This change in fuel blends eat a lot of tip money. Money most of these severs say they don't have.

For an administration that is supposed to be all about the little guy, they sure spend a lot of time screwing him.

Oh yeah, almost forgot. Hope you aren't too fond of that trusty old lawn mower. If it even runs on that mix, it will probably kill it in just a few tanks of the 15% blend.


As we all know, no crude oil refineries have been built in the United States since 1976. During that time, close to 100 ethanol refineries have been built.
- John Shimkus

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